Is it finally time to heal?

     Another doctor's appointment.  In the past four years, as I have been struggling with chronic headaches and life-hindering pain, I have honestly had more of these than I can count. It's actually a very normal thing for me to have to see some medical professional almost every week.  That's just the way life is for me right now.

     The first thing that a doctor appointment usually means to me is a long long ride in the car- at least 2 hours- while I'm fretting and over-thinking everything that the doctor will ask me or the news he will have at the end.  My dad, who I am pretty close to, usually goes with me and he tries so hard to keep things light and happy, distracting me from my own anxieties and a lit of times he succeeds.  I like my car-talks with my dad.  We're buddies and that time together is valuable to me, but geez.  Those long road trips.  I let myself get very emotional.

     The next thing that always happens at my appointments is the paper work.  What's up with all that anyway?? I already filled this stuff out the last time I was here. Well that's another rant for another post on another day.

     Anyway. I met this new doctor.  Apparently he's a world renown headache specialist and he's written books and changed a lot of lives and that gave me hope.  But more than that, the moment when I finally had hope was after almost three full hours of consultation and neurological tests he sat down, looked into my eyes and said to my dad and I, "Okay, this is the plan..." and I'm thinking "A PLAN?!?!" Oh my gosh what fantastic news! For years we have been hearing doctors tell me that my case is sooooo unusual and all they have is some things I can try nut this guy never said a word about my vase being weird.  It felt good to think that this problem has been solved before. It's possible. I can get better.

     Now please understand that I am not going to get my hopes up too much.  I already known that there is not One pill or One therapy that is going to instantly cure me like magic.  I've accepted that long ago and my appointment with this new doctor didn't change that. I also know that my healing process- however successful it may be- is going to take time. Months.  I have to keep doing just as the doctor says, taking care of myself, and I can't lose heart.

     The most important thing is that two days ago I was pretty sure I was going to live in pain for the rest of my life, but now even tho there are no guarantees in life, I have hope that two days ago I was wrong.

     I'm ready to get better.  Thanks to anyone and everyone who has been there for me in the past and I appreciate any and all continued support and prayers as I start a new round of treatments.