Learn My Lesson

     Bad things happen and nobody ever seems to be able to explain why.  People make several bad decisions every day for years but yet are never the ones who receive the punishment or the consequences for their actions.  It's more than unfair.  The perfect example of this ugly fact of life occurred just a couple nights ago on a road trip with my roommate, P. 

     Boys have a way of making girls do things they normally wouldn't do.  And a couple of unpleasant punks used their tricks to convince P and me to run to the city to pick something up with them.  We're just stupid girls who didn't have anything to do that night.  Anyway, it turned into the biggest disaster that either of us could imagine and at the end of the story, the two of us girls are in a big heap of trouble for things we didn't do.  To the point that it's possible we could be kicked out of Harding!!! So ridiculous.  The whole time P and I were just waiting to wake up from the nightmare.  We've learned our lesson and we are never ever hanging out with boys we barely know again.  What were we thinking?

     There's only been two different occasions in my 19 years of living that I've truly feared for my life and this was one of them.  I think 2 is a big enough number for me.  I'm done being scared.  I'm changing my life.  My ways, my thinking, my habits, everything.  I want to be smart and safe and not all stressed and fearful.  In addition, making careless and poor decisions like I did this weekend affect not just myself but everyone surrounding me.  My parents were worried sick about me, obviously.

     And then there's my boy.

     I was sitting there with P, waiting to find out if we were going to JAIL for those stupid boys and their selfish mistakes and all I could think of was him.  He's the biggest, most important, and my favorite part of my whole little world.  He means more to me than I know how to say.  He's the most perfect boyfriend I can fathom.  And I know I don't deserve to get to keep him but I want to have him so badly.  And that's why everything is going to be different.  Staying with J is my priority.  So, no more stupid ugly carefree college nights with punk boys who don't care about me.  I'm sticking with Jake. 

     I'm better than those boys and I'm better than the decisions I made this weekend.  So is P, and we're never going back.  I've learned so much the past couple of days that I feel like I'll never need another life lesson as long as I live! Haha. Right now all there is for us to do is wait and pray and hope that it's in God's plan for the two of us to keep going to school at Harding.
     It's hard to remember that everything happens for a reason.