Forgive. And Forget??

     Oh my my my, am I stressed!! I'm headed to the hospital Wednesday to stay for a few days and try to get my pain levels down and plus there's all this college stuff with classes and buying junk for our room, not to mention crazy psycho girls who only want to make drama for me. And then there's this boy. Of course. There's always a boy. But I'm not complaining. Just wondering.

     The thing I need to know now is how far forgiveness goes. What sorts of things fall under the forgiveness umbrella. I don't need anyone to tell me how many times to forgive. I get that. You must forgive forever and ever and even still you own't come close to forgiving the way Jesus did. And nobody needs to tell me when to forgive. I got that covered too.
     But must we forget?? When you forgive someone who has wronged you, hurt you, betrayed you, lied to you, and so on, do you also have to immediately go back to the way things were?? Am I supposed to pretend that I think acting that way is okay?? Well then, I need some prayers because I don't think I can!! What ever happened to "fool me twice, shame on me"??
     I'm having trouble finding the balance. I've forgiven. It's over. I don't intend to hold a grudge by any means. But I am completely unable to go right back to the level of friendship and trust that I had before. I want to, so badly, and I can see it in the future. For now, though, it just can't happen.
     And I feel guilty.
     How is that fair?? I didn't DO anything!! I forgave. But I remember all too well the sting of what happened not too long ago and it's ruining a relationship I'd love to have.
   
     All I can see to do here is pray. Please, Lord, let me have my buddy back. Mend my heart (and blur my memory).